L5A story Posse: My First Period

My First Period 

A coming of age story by Clara Posse

Life is short. I know that now. Today is my 10th birthday. And it might be my last.

People say death strikes unexpectedly. Grandpa, for example died from a heart attack. But I

knew I was going to die since this morning.

I woke up at 7, because I was so excited about my birthday, that I wanted it to start

fast. I know that birthdays start when you wake up. Mom was still sleeping. I decided I

should wake her up too, so she could sing me the happy birthday and give me my presents.

However, she told me I had to wait for dinner, when dad would be with us. She wanted to

give me the presents with him. She said the two of them had bought them together. I know he

didn’t. He is too sad about grandpa. But, this didn’t stop me from having my

birthday-breakfast. Do you know what happens after a lot of birthday-breakfast? You have to

rush to the nearest toilet as fast as you can.

And that’s when it happened. I looked down, and there was a huge drop of blood

staring back at me.

And that’s when I knew it. I was going to die. I felt myself drowning in the blood. It

was like the air couldn’t reach my lungs. I could hear my heart beating fast. Maybe I was

going to have a heart attack, like grandpa. I pushed all that away and ordered my body to

fight against death. Presents would be given at dinner. I couldn’t miss the presents. So I did

what any normal person would do: I pretended everything was okay, and went to school. I

saw dad doing that after grandpa’s death. He thought I didn’t notice. I wonder if he is dying

like me too.

I tried not to think about my death at school. But it was too hard. I didn’t want to

go out at break time, because if I moved from my chair, everyone would see the blood stains

in it. And when I was alone, in the classroom, while everyone was out during break I couldn’t

retain my thoughts.

I came to a conclusion. There possibly was a monster coming out of me. A big,

bloody monster that smelled like onions. And his name would probably be something like

Edwin. I once saw it in a movie. And when the monster comes out, I would probably die. But

all that would happen after the presents. I was sure of that; when my tummy started to hurt.

The monster was trying to come out of me! I didn’t want to die! I felt tiny drops of water

making a salty path in my face. I tried to retain them like I did in grandpa’s funeral. But I

couldn’t.

Miss Sophie took me out of the class. I asked her to call mom. I like Miss Sophie. I

hope she doesn’t die like grandpa did.

When mom arrived, I hugged her tightly. And I sobbed harder. It would probably be

our last hug. My tummy and my head were hurting. Very much. I knew the monster was

trying to come out of me. So I told her the truth. I told her I was dying.

But mom just laughed and hugged me tighter.

“Honey, don’t worry” she said to me smiling “you’re just having your first period. Welcome

to adulthood”

And that was way worse that anything I could have imagined. But I couldn’t

understand one thing. I knew that I was not dying. So then, why could I still feel the monster

trying to come out of me? Why was I resisting it? Why couldn’t I just let it out? Maybe that

thing that was killing me from the inside had to go out. Maybe I had to let it out. Maybe it

will make me feel better. Maybe I had to tell mom. Maybe. I had to let it out.

And I let it out.

And I cried.

And I told mom how I miss grandpa.

Over and over again.